What is a "nesting arrangement"?

A nesting arrangement, also known as a "bird's nest arrangement" or "bird nesting arrangement" is one in which a child or children continue to live in the residence which was their home at the date of their parents' separation.  This, in and of itself, is not uncommon post-separation but here, the parents' time with the child/children is based on their moving in and out of the home for fixed periods of time. Just like birds taking turns to look after eggs or chicks in a nest, these parents return to the home based on a fixed schedule while the children continue to live in the home without interruption.

All residential arrangements for children have their unique pros and cons. Some argue that nesting arrangements are least disruptive to children's lives.  For example, they enable the child/children to continue to attend the same school and to maintain their peer relationships and activities. On the con side, the nesting arrangement means that the parents need to obtain their own accommodations for those periods of time when they are not residing in the home with the child/children. In other words, three separate residences are involved (one for the children and two for each of the parents). The reality is that a true nesting arrangement is possible only in cases where the parents' financial means permit it. It can be expensive.

Nesting arrangements can only work in situations in which the parents remain civil and cooperative with each other. There are many reasons for this.  By way of one example, if a nanny is involved, cooperating parents will continue to have the same nanny assist the children/parents when both parents are in the home. If parents are not cooperative with each other, one parent might, for example, insist on a care arrangement for the child/children which is different than what the other parent wants (e.g. not a nanny). This creates a logistically difficult situation, for all concerned including the nanny.

In our view, nesting arrangements are feasible only on a temporary basis. It is difficult to imagine two adults (the parents) continuing to reside in two residences on more than a temporary basis.

When it comes to children's residential arrangements, there is a number of reasonable alternatives which we discuss elsewhere in this blog. If you are interested in exploring these alternatives further, we suggest you speak to a lawyer who has experience in this area.

 Park of Schunbrunn ~ Gustav Klimt (1916)