There are, believe it or not, couples who manage to divide the contents of their residence together, whether a home, a cottage or apartment, in a civilized, calm and organized way. It's not as uncommon as you think and it IS entirely possible.
For situations where that has not happened, contents can become a true battleground, with each party "staking" what they want and sometimes even saying they want "that" simply because the other spouse wants it as well. In those situations, you need a game plan, a method for addressing the problem.
Simply removing the items you want, without the other spouse knowing you will do so in advance, is never a good idea. It will cast a shadow over your actions and motivations, and if the matter ends up before a Judge, your spouse will surely advise him or her of what you have done, asking that unfavorable inferences be drawn from your actions.
Firs of all, what are contents? - they are "stuff" you and your spouse used together as part of your relationship. Stuff in your home, your cottage, your apartment. It is not the same as personal possessions. Your stamp collection is not part of contents and neither is her clothing or his shoes. The contents of your spouse's home-office desk are not part of contents - they belong to your spouse.
Also, contents are not necessarily things which only both spouses paid for. There are many situations in which only one spouse paid for all of the stuff in the house and this stuff is still "contents". If you are unsure, speak to a lawyer about this issue.
We believe that if you and your spouse cannot agree on how to divide contents, as a first step, each of you needs to make a list of ALL the contents of your residence. Then, on each list will be identified personal possessions and other items, such as gifts and inheritances, which do not form part of contents either (this is a very important point and if you have such items, it is vital that you speak to a lawyer for advice on how these items are dealt with and why). On your list, you can then identify which of the contents you are interested in having. You then exchange your lists. The items on which you and the other spouse agree are no longer contentious. Only those items which you both appear to want are.
For the items on which you cannot agree, there are a variety of approaches. Get legal advice on this point as one may be particularly suited to your case. There are also alternatives to creating lists, including marking contents with multi-colored stickies, valuing them all professionally and then dividing by value, or one spouse keeping all and the other spouse getting credit for one-half of the value.
We can say one thing with confidence - Courts do not like to get involved on the issue of contents and prefer that spouses deal with them themselves. If you are before a Judge dealing with contents, be prepared for a long and detailed consideration of the issue, which can be drawn-out and expensive. Try to avoid it if you can.
For situations where that has not happened, contents can become a true battleground, with each party "staking" what they want and sometimes even saying they want "that" simply because the other spouse wants it as well. In those situations, you need a game plan, a method for addressing the problem.
Simply removing the items you want, without the other spouse knowing you will do so in advance, is never a good idea. It will cast a shadow over your actions and motivations, and if the matter ends up before a Judge, your spouse will surely advise him or her of what you have done, asking that unfavorable inferences be drawn from your actions.
Firs of all, what are contents? - they are "stuff" you and your spouse used together as part of your relationship. Stuff in your home, your cottage, your apartment. It is not the same as personal possessions. Your stamp collection is not part of contents and neither is her clothing or his shoes. The contents of your spouse's home-office desk are not part of contents - they belong to your spouse.
Also, contents are not necessarily things which only both spouses paid for. There are many situations in which only one spouse paid for all of the stuff in the house and this stuff is still "contents". If you are unsure, speak to a lawyer about this issue.
We believe that if you and your spouse cannot agree on how to divide contents, as a first step, each of you needs to make a list of ALL the contents of your residence. Then, on each list will be identified personal possessions and other items, such as gifts and inheritances, which do not form part of contents either (this is a very important point and if you have such items, it is vital that you speak to a lawyer for advice on how these items are dealt with and why). On your list, you can then identify which of the contents you are interested in having. You then exchange your lists. The items on which you and the other spouse agree are no longer contentious. Only those items which you both appear to want are.
For the items on which you cannot agree, there are a variety of approaches. Get legal advice on this point as one may be particularly suited to your case. There are also alternatives to creating lists, including marking contents with multi-colored stickies, valuing them all professionally and then dividing by value, or one spouse keeping all and the other spouse getting credit for one-half of the value.
We can say one thing with confidence - Courts do not like to get involved on the issue of contents and prefer that spouses deal with them themselves. If you are before a Judge dealing with contents, be prepared for a long and detailed consideration of the issue, which can be drawn-out and expensive. Try to avoid it if you can.
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